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I love the cosy, quiet weeks that I take off at Christmas and into January. They are always much needed after the frantic few weeks in the studio. But this year I am going to be taking much longer off. I wish I could say I have boldly and bravely cleared my calendar and will be taking some time out for myself, but it's not quite like that. I will be having an enforced hibernation. Actually it's going to be a convalescence.Â
I want to spare you the details but if I tell you I'm having major surgery you'll only wonder why so you can have it! For the last five years or so I have been bleeding way too heavily. Five years ago the blood loss felt extreme but looking back it was nothing compared to what it is today. I've had many smaller surgeries and investigations and have tried all sorts of things but nothing has been able to hold it back. It's actually a wonder I'm still standing, testament to the strong life energy I am blessed with and a lot of deep self care. The bleeding has been an extra drain this year though I can tell you and I have had enough.
So I'm having a hysterectomy. I postponed my September date as we were moving house and then I begged to change my November date, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get the business up and running again. So January 6th it is.
I am winding down from now in preparation. I am trying to embrace the idea of finally getting to hibernate, of being still and quiet for a good long time, but I am a bit scared. Not so much about the surgery, but about the long period of doing nothing. My body is used to doing yoga every day and walking a lot and being very active. If I don't move I stagnate and then I feel low. And you know that I am a do-er. I love to create and make better, but I won't be able to, not for a while.
But I know that inside my body I will be busy busy busy. There will be so much healing to do. All I need to do is rest and be nourished. So I'm gathering books, journals, cosy socks and blankets. I'm getting my nest ready, surrounding myself with things I love and thank goodness for my tree view. I'm waiting to hang the bird feeders outside my living room window so I have something really exciting to look forward to and I'm rallying friends and family to come and look after me.
I'm going to have to get good at doing nothing.
I'll be in my nest until early spring. I'll miss the studio, I'll miss the woods and I'll really miss writing my three somethings. I'll be directing all my energy into healing. Healing my body from the operation but also healing my heart from everything that has happened this year. I'm going into the deep.
Domenique and Hannah will be looking after things in the studio, so please don't stop ordering! The business still needs to look after me financially while I'm away and pay everyone's wages etc etc. It feels scary to let it all go for a while but the events of this year have shown me that I am very well supported so that soothes my worries somewhat.
I know this year I have done too much. This has been the most 'too much' year I've ever had.Â
This time next year I will be in a better place and I'm really looking forward to that.
I'll leave you with some photos of Willow in the window from September when the leaves were green and lush, right through autumn to the frost and snow of winter. The next series will be making our way into spring when I shall emerge again like the daffodils!
Thanks for being there for me.x
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22 comments
Wishing you the very best of luck with this Hannah. I canât offer you any advice but I imagine that you are going to feel like a new woman, once youâve recuperated. Hopefully you will manage to enjoy the enforced break from work and just relish the time that you will have for yourself.
Kind regards
Catriona
All the best for your hibernation and healing Hannah. I am just having a hip replacement and am currently still in hospital majorly incapacitated and walking with a zimmer so I know my next few months will also involve lots of healing, crochet, a cat and caring friends and family. The winter is the best time to do this kind of thing then we will be rejuvenated and ready to get out and about in the Spring again. You have had such a year! 2023 will be amazing! Good luck. Lorna
Wishing you all the very best Hannah for your up and coming operation â take good care of yourself, sending love and blessings to you xx
Dear Hannah take care and rest sending love and hugs xxx
Hannah, good luck with your surgery. Iâve never met you but my house and my daughters house are filled with your beautiful and amazing lamps and you have given us so much joy and so many cosy evenings. So just wishing you all the very, very best with your operation, for Christmas, for 2023 and in your new workshop. Anyone who spreads as much joy as you do( we also LOVE the 3 somethings) just deserves a rest and a good break. Thank you so much and we will look forward to the post op updates and along with you, Spring! Much love